Thursday, 03 July 2008

• Step Away From the Screaming Baby

  When I work with first-time moms in postpartum, sometimes they find themselves on the verge of pulling out their hair when they have what we call a “vigorously” crying baby who cannot be soothed by anything.  Moms are frustrated and perplexed; the baby is fed, changed, held, has been sung to, and still he cries….no,make that screams….non-stop.

  What is a physically exhausted, emotionally drained, sleep-deprived mom to do?   This is where my advice, both literally and figuratively is: Step Away From The Screaming Baby.   At the hospital this might mean asking your husband or nurse to watch the baby, or at home may mean putting the baby in the crib and closing the door.  This does not make you a bad mother.  On the contrary, it makes you a good mother.  You cannot be a good mother if you are about to have a meltdown.

  Now, when I say this is also figurative advice, what I mean by this is that this not only applies to the idea of your baby literally screaming.  When my head is reeling with all the things I need to do, or when I am feeling like a failure and am overwhelmed with all the “screaming” and noise that life can sometimes project, I often tell myself: “Step Away From the Screaming Baby.”  Whether this is an issue at work, a fight with a significant other, excessive traffic when you are late, a screw up with your bank account—yet again, or burning the dinner you spent all day making.  Walk away for a minute.  Take a deep breath.  Think about what is happening.  A step back definitely allows you to take two steps forward when you head back to the task at hand.  You will probably find that the baby has settled down when you return.

  What do you do when you need to step away when your baby won’t stop crying? What other things in life seem to be screaming at you and what do you do to step away to keep from being overwhelmed?

   

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